Elder Bednar in New Zealand

Notes from a talk he gave in March 2015.  We requested the video from the Area office  and were told that it has been deleted.

Priesthood and Gender

Priesthood is not male. Priesthood is authority of God. In the culture of the church we talk about Priesthood as if it is male and it’s not. Priesthood is the authority given by God to perform His work in his way according to his timeline. Priesthood blesses all equally. It does not discriminate based on gender. It’s like an umbrella. Everybody under the umbrella is protected from the elements. Men have the assignment to hold up the umbrella. Men are not the umbrella.

 Help from the Bishop

It is not the churches job to get your children ready for baptism. There is no worthiness issue that the Bishop should know about that you shouldn’t know as a mom and dad. If the child did something wrong there should be such a relationship that the child would go to parents first. Then if help from the Bishop is needed then all would go together to the Bishop. That doesn’t happen very often and that’s part of the problem. That’s how it ought to be and it is doable.

Ask the question…what would it be like if? And the Holy Ghost will fill in the remainder of the question.

Priesthood D&C 20, 84, 88, 107

Marriage Maintenance

How can we maintain good values in our marriage so we can weather the storms of life?

What are the things we can do to have a solid foundation in marriage?

Misconception in young people today is that you will find the perfect one. “Well if you find the perfect one then why would they want to marry you.” Endless searching to find a happy marriage. “ You do not find a happy marriage you create one. You don’t build it, you don’t manage it, you create it. Use the word create because we are creators in embryo. When you understand that we are creating a happy marriage and not trying to find it then it is easier to accept the bumps that come in the creative process.

Any major issue than disrupts a marriage (or life in general) is grounded in selfishness and pride. All sin is selfish. And pride is a cardinal sin.

How do we help teenagers see beyond their imperfections and see their true identity?

Bednar family exercise began with a question – Do we want to be a forever family?

Inspired as parents to come up with a question that worked for their family. This worked for their family because they sought a way for their family. Elder Bednar says, “If you jotted down the notes it won’t do you any good. You can’t borrow that from us you have to find it for yourself.” It only worked because we worked on it together as a family for 6 months. It wasn’t something we passed out and said, “Okay here’s the new deal.” It was written in them because they helped write it.

Seek inspiration and figure out what will help for your family. Someday you will have a story with different details and it will have come because of asking, seeking and knocking.


Focus on what is needed and take the time necessary to find the solution. Do what it takes to meet the need. Whatever it is that gets you to where you need to be spiritually, that’s what you ought to do. You have the right and the responsibility to determine that in your own life. You’re not following a program. You’re trying to become more devoted disciples. Do what it takes to address the need.

Divorced man

Asking a question as a divorced man who feels like a minority

Giving up, Patriarchal Blessings

Patriarchal Blessings – Layers of understanding for all of the blessings promised in the blessing. Some of the phrases will be fulfilled repeatedly in different ways. As you read and understand your blessing don’t be too quick to judge and interpret what it means. As your life plays out you will see additional elements of the fulfillment of what you think has already been fulfilled.

Giving Up – what does that bring? Is giving up even an option? I don’t see anything in giving up that is at all pleasing or attractive. If you have a testimony and understand gospel principles and ordinances then your determination to be diligent will increase. The only thing harder than being more diligent is giving up. Giving up doesn’t produce anything. If you have had a taste of the delicious fruit that grows on the tree of Christ then there is no option but to continue to press forward.

As you will ask and plead in sincere prayer you will continue to receive answers and strength beyond your own. That is one of the blessing of the Atonement. The atonement not only cleanses us from senses it strengthens us to do good and be good when we don’t have the natural strength to do that. Every member of the church who has received priesthood ordinances and made sacred covenants and attempts to the best of their ability to honor those covenants can receive that blessing, marital status notwithstanding.

1:32 – Are there anything we can do so that we don’t end up in the Martin Harris moment?

1:39 – What would the Lord have me do or is it…what I want is what the Lord would have me do…

Martin Harris was relentlessly demanding. That’s very different from seriously petitioning. It’s okay to petition. It’s okay to ask but not okay to be demanding

Patriarchal Blessings of our Children

Turn your children to the blessing so that they can find the answers that are needed.

Mother of less active children

The atonement blesses us with strength to press on, to press forward, to continue when we do not have the ability to continue. Persist in patience.

You can’t do it by yourself. You can’t do it alone. You will never be alone. You are yoked with the Savior. What you cannot do he will make up the difference.

Nephi prays to have the bands loosed. “According to my faith which is in thee grant me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound.” Nephi prayed as an agent. He prayed for the strength to do what he knew he could not do.

“And the bands were loosed.” I don’t believe the bands magically fell off. In my minds eye I see Nephi working really hard in his own strength. And in the strength of the Lord he was able to burst the bands.

Invites her to get inexpensive copy of Book of Mormon and look for instances like this one where Nephi prays for strength to do what he cannot do and where the atonement is applied. This will take a while. Be patient.

 Closing remarks

Answers don’t come from what we say. Answers come as you are thinking, pondering, praying, seeking and knocking. That’s the spirit of revelation and the Holy Ghost teaching what is needed.

If you are honoring your covenants and keeping the commandments to the best of your ability as a baptized member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, as one who has had hands placed upon your head you can receive strength and spiritual guidance as you apply the atonement to your life.

If you do not improve gradually and incrementally the latter days will be difficult. If you develop the capacity to ask, seek and knock, recognize and receive instruction from the Holy Ghost you will be okay. We will all be affected by the adversity of the latter days but you will be all right.

The church as an institution cannot do for you what you need to and must do for yourself spiritually and temporally. The whole purpose of being together is to help you learn patterns whereby you can ask of God and get the answers that you need and know that’s where they are coming from. You can do that, you need to do that in order to press forward in the world in which we live.















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